The “Very Best” of Cheese Weed
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Wuss
This song describes us to a T. It was written by some dude in Nate’s English class.
Jocks from hell will kick my ass,
I’m a wuss I don’t smoke grass,
I don’t drink beer, it’s a goddamn shame,
I’m a wuss, and I’m to blame,
I don’t get chicks I take it in stride,
I’m a wuss, I have no pride,
To me wussiness is a way of life,
It bother me not, comma, stab me with a knife,
I don’t have muscles, I’m a weak pathetic fool,
Got beat up last year at the pool
I really suck and I ain’t cool
I’m a fuck and I’m a tool -
Hi (Live)
Recorded live at the Noblesville High School Guitar Concert way back in 1994. Grunge!
LYRICS coming soon
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Idol
While watching a kids’ game show on Nickelodeon, we saw this amazing kid named Cameron. He was the punkest kid you’ve ever seen. They must have hopped him up on some serious sugar before shoving him in front of that camera. Wow.
Pick your nose on national TV
You’re the kid that I wanna be
Cameron you are so cool
Cooler than the cameron girl at my school
You’re you idol, you are so cool
You’re my idol, you are the best
You’re my idol, you’re goddamn hilarious
You’re my idol
Tell your sister to get out of town
Cameron you are such a clown
And I thought it was really cool
When you put your hand over your sister’s mouth (that shut her up) -
S.O.S.
Our friend sold us out when the older “real” punk kids started to take notice of him. We were angry, so we wrote this song.
You used to bitch about how everybody sold you out
‘til the punks started liking you
Now you don’t need us anymore
You’ve got better things to do
You’re a fucking hypocrite
You’ve changed, we stayed the same
How you treat all your old friends like shit
You’re punk rock now
We always had your back
Even when your new found friends hated you
Now you don’t need us anymore
You’ve got better things to do
You’re punk rock now -
Carnival
That’s just the way I am!
My life’s a carnival, or so I’ve been told, ‘cause I don’t give a damn
My life’s a carnival, is that a fact
I’m sorry, that’s just the way I am
Carnival, cause I just want to have fun
Carnival don’t regret anything I’ve done -
Han Solo
Han Solo
He’s got his own planet, although it’s kinda wild
Wookies love him, women love him
He’s got an amazing smile
Although he seems cool and cocky,
He’s nicer than he seems
Solo, what a man solo
He’s every princess’s dream
He’s every princess’s dream -
Analogy
I love that we were from the time when you would call someone a “real”.
You get everything you see
You have everything you see
You want everything you see
You even want me
Analogy
You get everything you want
And then all you do is flaunt it
Why can you be more like me,
You so cool, won’t you see
Analogy
s’pose you weren’t so trendy
s’pose you weren’t such a fucking prep
s’pose you were more like me
What would it be like then?
Analogy
And I’m a G
Analogy, yeah! -
Bitch
We went to some event at our friend’s school across town. Apparently we were too loud for some lady sitting near us, and when we didn’t stand up for the national anthem, she got in our face and accused us of being drunk. We weren’t having that.
Give us shit cause we talk
So it’s us you harass
I don’t care how respected you are
You can kiss my ass
Fuck you
Fuck you
You can call us immature
Fuck you
You can call us punks
Fuck you
You can call us whatever you want to
Fuck you
But we’re not drunks
Fuck you
Give us shit cause we talk
So it’s us you harass
I don’t care how respected you are
You can kiss my ass (and it’s hairy)
I’m not gonna stand up for your religion
I don’t give a shit about your tradition
I’m not gonna do what you want me to
If you think that’s so, Fuck you
Fuck you
Fuck you
You can call us immature
Fuck you
You can call us punks
Fuck you
You can call us whatever you want to
Fuck you
But we’re not drunks
Fuck you
I don’t care what you say
I don’t care what you think
I don’t give a shit about your tradition
But sure as hell I don’t drink -
Homecoming King
Somehow, Ian was voted into the homecoming court his freshman year. It was amazing.
Vote for me, vote for me, vote for me for homecoming king
Vote for me, vote for me, vote for me for homecoming -
???
They all suck
They are all preps
I might even get laid
Vote for me, vote for me, vote for me for homecoming king
Vote for me, vote for me, vote for me for homecoming -
This will start a revolution
In this prep based institution
It will make all them sick
When they see the homecoming queen sucking my finger
Vote for me, vote for me, vote for me for homecoming king
Vote for me, vote for me, vote for me for homecoming -
I’m not gonna go
Causing you regret
They won’t let me show
Cause I’m a minor threat
Vote for me, vote for me, vote for me for homecoming king
Vote for me, vote for me, vote for me for homecoming king
Vote for me, vote for me, vote for me for homecoming king
Vote for me, vote for me, vote for me for homecoming king
And that’s fine -
Oi Mafia
Old Indiana (or O.I.) was a theme park that was near our town. If you new the secret hand sign, you were a member of the Oi Mafia, which meant you could not only get in for free, but you could basically run rampant!
Get free stuff you don’t have to pay
Hook you up you’ll get food today
Get free stuff you don’t have to pay
Hook you up you’ll get food today
Cause you’re the Oi Mafia
Won’t get kicked out by some bitch
Says you’re acting like a dick
Won’t get kicked out no matter what you’re doin’
With you they won’t be screwin’
Cause you’re the Oi Mafia
Ghetto licks kick their old school ways
on these hot summer days
You’ll win the big G cow
You’re in the Old Indiana Mafia now
You’re in the Oi Mafia -
I Love Toast
What can we say? We fucking love toast!
I love toast in all of it’s various forms
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You Don’t Seem To Care
Boy meets girl. Boy loves girl for “a couple of weeks”. Girl leaves boy. Boy writes damn good song.
We were in love for a couple of weeks
For a while it was just you and me
Now you don’t like it, I can see
What the hell will I be
cause I don’t have you BEEP
Now you’ve left me for some other guy,
Just sit around and wonder why
In this relationship I got screwed
Cause you hate me and I still love you
And it seems you don’t care anymore
You just don’t seem to care
And it seems you don’t love me anymore
Why don’t you care?
This was one great relationship
Now it feels like a pile of shit
I always thought we’d had a lot of fun
Now I wonder what have I done -
The Bird
One of many songs we stole from other bands and improved upon. Matt doesn’t just like birds, he loves ‘em!
I like the bird, the bird is cool, I like the bird, the bird is cool
I hate the cat, the cat is fat, I hate the cat, the cat is fat
I like the dog, the dog is cool, I like the dog, the dog is cool
I like the squirrel, it’s in the tree, and I fell and I skinned my knee
I like the bird, the bird is cool, I like the bird, the bird is cool
I hate the cat, the cat is fat, I hate the cat, the cat tried to eat the bird
I like the duck it’s in the pond, and of the duck I am very fond
I like the bird, the bird is cool, I like the bird, the bird is cool -
Pricilla (Live in Kelly’s Basement)
Ghetto Licks kick their old school ways on these hot summer days.
LYRICS coming soon
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Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Shit on Mr. Emmert
The worst teacher ever. What a jerk.
Mr. Emmert’s fat and he has a big nose,
The scabs on his head are really old
He wears the same shit and tie everyday
Mr. Emmert is fucking lame
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, shit on Mr. Emmert
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, shit on Mr. Emmert
Mr’ Emmert’s boring and he’s very white
If you saw him on the street you would be full of fright
Physics is phun, yeah, my ass
Mr. Emmert’s face looks like a fish!
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, shit on Mr. Emmert
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, shit on Mr. Emmert -
Sock
We’ve never used a laundry mat in our lives, but we imagine the experience would be something like this.
Twenty socks in, and the laundry mat
Nineteen come out, where’s the other one at?
Twenty socks in, and the laundry mat
Nineteen come out, where’s the other one at?
Where do they all go? Sock! Sock!
No one really knows Sock! Sock!
Tell me where the fuck Sock! Sock!
Are my dirty socks Sock! Sock! -
Black Nazi
Can you believe there is actually a black guy walking around with a swastika tattoo on his head!? And we were pretty edgy talking about how much Nazis sucked, huh?
You think being a Nazi is A-OK
You think Hitler only killed Jews
But if he were still around
He’d kill you
Get that swastika off of your head
You think Nazis only hate Jews
Nazis suck anyway
You don’t have a mind to lose
White power doesn’t mean being black
???? out of whack
You’re too ignorant to realize that
You’re just a dumb fuck
Get that swastika off of your head
You think Nazis only hate Jews
Nazis suck anyway
You don’t have a mind to lose
Fuck white power! -
Cheese Weed Sucks
Another band in our town wrote this song to vent their frustration with us. We stole it (much like we did with their guitar chords), and made it better.
We’ll rob you of your mic
We’ll steal your fucking chords
We’ll break your fucking equipment
We’ll knock over your drums
We’re cheese weed
We suck -
The Hardcore Song
We always ended our live shows with this gem… usually Matt attacked the weakest looking person in the crowd.
Something about a demonic french fry
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Outro
Oatmeal Polka!
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The Hardcore Song (DJ Tanner Remix)
It is what it is. And what it is is rad!